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Decisions, decisions

April 11, 2017 By admin Leave a Comment

 

“How can I learn to make decisions?”

I’d say this makes my top five requested coaching outcomes. There’s no obvious correlation between these clients  – gender, profession, role, seniority.

This isn’t about making better decisions  – it’s about making any decision, even down to “which ice cream flavour?

So what’s really going on here?

I’ve come across two common themes – there are more and there will be variation between clients, but two things are often present – and deeply intertwined:

  1. the illusion of control – that if they make the “right” decision they will be able to control the outcome, avoiding risk and staying safe and secure;
  2. that if they control the outcome, they can avoid feelings that they can’t cope with: fear, uncertainty, disappointment..and more.

So how does understanding this lead to being better able to make decisions?

Three things seem to help:

  • accept that the world is ultimately not controllable –  if a decision is hard, that’s because there is no “right” decision and that to move on you have to take a risk;
  • understand your emotional footprint, including your emotional drivers. Practise negotiating with your emotions, rather than letting them drive you;
  • practice making decisions. Start off small. Hold both your understanding that you can’t control the outcome of a nuanced decision and that your reluctance is driven by your feelings. Remember you are the boss of  your feelings.
  • remember that risk ( at the heart of every difficult decision) is wholly and completely necessary for change and development.

Credit: Liane Metzler/Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@liane?photo=v3bWNXeInQA

 

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Filed Under: decisions, Emotions, fixed mindset

About Susan Adams Kuczynska

Susan is an integral development coach who helps talented people achieve deep personal development, successfully manage transition and grow their leadership abilities. She gives her clients the tools to deal with future change courageously and on purpose and helps embed strategies to create sustainable results – without gimmicks or quick‐fixes. Susan’s coach training combines perfectly with her background as a lawyer and senior executive in a large international company to give her a strong commercial focus and a real understanding of the skills senior roles require. Her coaching is underpinned with the knowledge that our careers flourish when fuelled by authenticity, that the best leadership comes from the heart and our greatest impact is only possible when we show up as our whole selves.

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